Mother's Guilt


Woohoo! We are back in our apartment which by the way is absolutely sparkling, I have never scrubbed and cleaned so much in my life. There is not a roach in sight, the landlord has even repainted and fixed up a few things so it is looking pretty good.

The kids are also back with me, my ex struggled having them full time for the ten days it took to get the apartment sorted ... maybe he will reconsider wanting sole custody now! The kids literally flew into my arms and kept saying they missed me. To think I was worried they might be happier without me … This mom guilt is really something that we as women need to get over, how can we feel guilty for giving so much of ourselves ALL the time. Motherhood is like having your heart walk around outside of your body, it is scary, messy and completely wonderful!

I have continued to look into balancing and healing my sacral chakra, so let me share what I have discovered ...

The Sanskrit name for the sacral chakra is Svadhisthana, which means, sweetness. The sacral chakra is located below the belly button and is the center of our creativity and pleasure. It deals with our emotions, creativity, sensuality, movement, change, intimacy, socializing, connection and sexual relationships.

While I was looking into sacral chakra balancing, there was so much about sensuality and intimacy, which got me thinking, I have never felt sensual or sexy, I have always felt a bit uncomfortable about it all … From my research it seems that my sacral chakra is well and truly blocked and in dire need of some work. I would love to feel completely comfortable in my own skin, and just ooze a calm confidence and maybe a little sensuality.

This lead me to really ask myself some tough questions, self-inquiry is supposed to be a useful tool in healing the sacral chakra.

By understanding our emotions and reactions, we can better lessen the unconscious programming ruling our actions. This allows us to choose how we react and see our emotions as useful signs rather than being ruled by them.

These are the questions I asked myself, try them yourself, your answers may surprise you:

  • How attractive do you feel?
  • Are you confident about your self-image or do you doubt yourself often?
  • Do you feel ruled by your emotions or are you emotionally aware and conscious?
  • Are you often indulging in life’s little pleasures to the point of losing balance or do you enjoy each experience with healthy moderation and self-discipline?
  • Can you balance passion and personal discipline?
  • Do you feel alive or does life feel dull?

After getting some pretty interesting answers, I have decided to try using positive affirmations to rewrite my limiting negative beliefs. I started out feeling a bit silly talking to myself out loud but what I have realized is that I may not verbalize it out loud but I definitely have negative conversations going on in my head ALL the time … I often think I am a bad mom, I’m lazy, I’m unattractive etc etc. I need to STOP them in their tracks.

So I am trialling some positive affirmations, feel free to use these or adapt them to suit you :)
  • “I deserve to experience pleasure and have my needs met.”
  • “I am confident that I am enough.”
  • “I attract relationships with loving, good people who will support me.”
  • “I know I can embrace change and make the best of my future.”
  • “Every day, I experience more and more joy and satisfaction.”
  • “My body is vibrant, and I am comfortable inside it.”
  • “I am a strong, creative person and I love what I create.”
  • “I am ready for positive change and for deep personal growth.”
  • “I am a positive parent and I am striving to do my best.”

After  a few days of positive affirmations, I can honestly say, I feel more confident. It is like getting a pep talk from a friend but it is you taking control of your feelings and thoughts. Give it a go, I dare you ...

Back to the sacral chakra … these are the things I have started doing to open and balance my sacral chakra.

  1. One way of opening the sacral chakra is to dance. Moving your body helps heal the second chakra by getting your body’s energy flowing, which activates the chakra and removes blockages. I found dancing when I looked into the root chakra but it really is a positive way to boost your energy and feel good.
  2. Awaken your senses with essential oils. They are a great, simple way to open up blocked chakras. I am using some pleasant scents associated with the sacral chakra in my home and at work. To help heal chakra imbalances, consider using one or more of these essential oils: Patchouli, Ylang-Ylang, Bergamot, Sandalwood, Clary Sage, Jasmine, Orange and Rose. My favourite scent is definitely Orange. I even have a diffuser in my car.
  3. Think (and See) Orange by introducing shades of orange to your office and home to help heal, activate and open up energy flow through the second chakra. Add a touch of warming orange to your wardrobe and maybe introduce some healing, earthy orange tones to your jewelry and accessories. I have just bought the most beautiful tree of life necklace, it has 7 different stones to represent the 7 chakras.
  4. Meditating on the color orange is another great way to not only heal and activate the sacral chakra, but also improve your focus and concentration
  5. Unpack your emotional bags and learn to let go. Emotional baggage, even if it’s just the size of a carry-on, can really weigh you down. Consider journaling or simply talking with a close friend about all that’s bothering you, I blog ;) It’s amazing how much better you feel when you vocalize and let go of repressed emotions and experiences.
  6. Learning how to open and strengthen our second chakra through exercise can also help heal imbalance. These yoga poses seem to help open up, activate, and heal the sacral chakra, start with these yoga poses:
  • Open angle pose ( Upavistha Konasana)
  • Cow face pose (Gomukhasana)
  • One-legged king pigeon pose (Eka Pada Rajakapotasana)
  • Reclining bound angle pose (Supta Baddha Konasana)
  • Half frog pose (Ardha Bhekasana)
  • Fire log pose (Agnistambhasana)

I won’t tell you what I look like doing some of these poses, but what I can tell you is that I am definitely finding each pose gets easier the more I practice them. And laughter is good for the soul, so when you start out enjoy the fun of learning.

I am off to work in an hour and today is our team yoga class, I am looking forward to the class. It really leaves me feeling relaxed and feeling happy :) I might even show off some of the new poses, I have learnt.

On the way to work, I have to stop by the bank and start the process of getting a loan, my car broke down AGAIN. 

am really not in a position to borrow money but I need a reliable car. I feel like a bad mom because we are in this position because I chose to leave their father ... Oh dear, I am doing it again!! I am going to run through those positive affirmations AGAIN!

I am taking my Tiger's Eye Wand and my new tree of life necklace, they are both beautiful pieces and I believe they will offer me some peace and positivity.  

I hope you are well on your way to opening and balancing you first two chakras, if you have any tips for us that you have tried, please let us know :)

Please continue with me on my journey of peace and fulfilment.

Wishing you light and love 


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